After someone dies, it’s natural to want to keep their memories close to us. We want to keep them alive in our hearts. For some people, that means keeping a loved one’s cremated ashes in your home as a physical reminder. But you might ask if energy is left behind in those remains. Let’s look at some questions surrounding this topic.
Is There Energy in Cremated Remains?
Some argue that energy remains within cremated ashes. According to the first law of thermodynamics, energy can not be created or destroyed. Instead, it simply changes from one form to another. However, many believe the cremation process frees the spirit from its physical body. And so the soul energy leaves the ashes to return to nature.
Where Does Your Energy Go When You Are Cremated?
Reincarnation
Hindu and Buddhist theologies say that when a person dies their energy (or soul) is reincarnated. From this standpoint, it stands to reason that the soul’s energy would leave the current body to move into its new form.
However, some Buddhists believe that after the last breath is taken, it takes four hours for the soul to fully leave the body. And then the soul goes to an intermediate place known as the bardo. It can remain in this state for up to 49 days before moving on. So there is a time when the deceased’s energy may remain in or around the ashes.
Resurrection
While Catholic and Christian theologies lean towards the resurrection of the body over reincarnation, both also prefer burial over cremation. Neither specifically recognize the remnants of human energy in cremated remains. Instead, they believe that our energy (souls) reconnect with God upon death.
Do People Experience Energy in Cremated Ashes?
Most people believe that the cremation process reduces the human body to dust and therefore eliminates all aspects of the person who inhabited the body. However, many others feel comforted by having the cremated remains of a loved one nearby. So the question remains if the comfort is derived from remaining energy or not.
My answer is yes, some people experience energy in cremated ashes. I also believe that it doesn’t matter what other people think. What matters is what you experience for yourself.
My Personal Experience as a Funeral Director
For example, during some cleaning of an outbuilding at my workplace, I came across a tiny urn. According to its label, it held the cremated remains of a child of the original funeral home owner from 1904. I brought the urn into the main building for safe-keeping.
Later in the day, my son and grandson stopped by to bring me lunch. My grandson was 2 at the time and only speaking 2-3 word sentences. He immediately became agitated over the sounds of a baby crying, sounds that only he could hear.
Landon tugged me by the hand into the room where I stored the urn. He pointed to it on a high shelf, then he pulled me to the back door. After I opened the door, my grandson finally calmed down and declared, “Baby okay now.”
It was my adult son’s first and last visit to my workplace. But my grandson and I shared a beautiful moment caring for the baby’s remaining energy.
None of my coworkers were surprised by the experience since most have had some type of similar experience of their own.
Is it Bad Luck to Keep Ashes in Your House?
While it is not bad luck to keep ashes in your house, there are some things to be aware of. Despite my experience with my grandson, I generally believe that cremated ashes do not contain the energy of our loved ones. Instead, I acknowledge that even after death, our loved ones’ energy surrounds us at different periods throughout our lives.
Know the Reason You Want to Keep the Ashes at Home
Keeping the ashes of your loved one in your home may seem like a good idea at first. But it can prolong the grieving process by keeping you mired in sadness. Over time, rather than give you comfort, the urn can represent more loss than happy memories.
If you stay focused on the past, the urn becomes a stumbling block to moving forward. This backward focus may create negative energy rather than fill you with love from the departed.
For this reason, many people choose to have their loved one’s urn at home with them only for a short time. Then they choose a more permanent place to memorialize their loved one.
Moving Through Grief to Let Go of the Cremated Remains
By letting go of the physical urn, you can free yourself to more fully experience signs of your loved one’s continued energy and presence. Signs like an unexpected rainbow or butterfly that bring to mind your loved one’s smile.
Moving through and processing your grief over losing your loved one may allow you to let go of the urn. But you have to feel ready and able to do so. It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong timeframe for this to happen.
What is the Best Way to Keep Ashes at Home?
According to Feng Shui properties, keeping the ashes of your loved one in your home represents trapped energy. So many practitioners think burial or scattering is a better alternative. They suggest instead returning your loved one’s ashes to the earth.
However, there are ways to incorporate the urn while maintaining an energy balance in your home. The ashes are part of life’s yin, meaning darkness or stillness. So you’ll want to balance them with neutral yang, meaning light or movement.
Some of the best places for an urn in your home are these:
- Den
- Living Room
- Meditation Room
Part of the reason for setting a special place for the urn is practical. You want the urn to be out of harm’s way from regular cleaning or walking. Don’t keep cremated remains in your bedroom because it may allow negative energy, like sadness, to interfere with your sleep.
Keep the urn in a place where you can honor it. Honoring means keeping it at eye level on a shelf rather than near the floor. You also may like to have a living plant next to it to balance the energies of life and death.
Furthermore, a location with plenty of natural light fills you with positive emotions when you see the urn. The point of keeping an urn at home is to remember fond memories of your loved one. So surround it with happy photos of the deceased. Or maybe stack favorite books next to the urn. Even a display of fishing lures honors the deceased if your loved one was an avid fisher.
Creating an uplifting memorial can fill you with positive energy and help you to celebrate your loved one’s life. Do still work towards letting the ashes move to a more permanent resting place. But while they are in your home, it’s important to honor them.
Is it Bad Luck to Open an Urn?
It isn’t necessarily bad luck to open an urn. However, being aware of your reasoning for wanting to open it will help you make a better decision.
Curiosity about what human cremated remains looks like is normal, especially when it relates to your own loved one. If you’re curious, then ask the funeral director to show you before sealing the urn. Believe me, they won’t think you’re weird, since it’s a common request.
Opening an urn to separate the ashes into smaller urns or for creating jewelry or art is a respectful reason for opening it. Opening it to spread the ashes during a memorial is also a valid reason. So these actions would not be considered bad luck.
The key to opening an urn simply comes down to your reasoning and the wishes of the decedent. Here are some reasons you should not open the urn.
- If your loved one did not want their ashes separated.
- If handling their ashes would conflict with their religious practices.
- If your family members do not want it opened.
A good question to ask yourself before opening the urn is whether or not you are honoring your loved one’s memory. Then you can move forward appropriately.
Is it Wrong to Separate Ashes?
Whether or not it is wrong to separate ashes comes down to your private belief system. The desires and beliefs of the deceased also play into this equation.
Catholic teaching promotes keeping the cremated remains of your loved one together in their entirety. By keeping the ashes together and placing them in a grave or columbarium, the Church deems you are providing a blessed and sacred resting place.
Hindus historically cremated the dead on a funeral pyre on the Ganges River in India. Nowadays, after a local funeral, the ashes are spread over a sacred body of water. It seems that the ashes would naturally separate as they move through the current and become part of nature.
Ultimately, your own religious beliefs and practices will dictate whether or not you think it is permissible to separate ashes. Contact your pastor or clergy for guidance. A grief counselor may also provide insight into your particular situation as well.
Conclusion: What is the Best Disposition for Cremated Remains?
As with most things in the process of death and dying, there is no one best way for anything. Let your belief system guide you to honor your loved ones in a way they would approve. In this way, you will celebrate their energy, whether or not it resides within the cremated remains.
As you can see, there are many ways to memorialize a loved one.
- Celebrate the energy of your loved one in your home.
- Separate the cremated remains to memorialize them in your way.
- Establish a permanent place to visit: like a cemetery or memorial park bench.
- Return the ashes to nature through scattering over water or land.
