The tradition of honoring their dead with an Irish wake is well-known and time-honored. You may be attending one yourself, or maybe you’re just curious about what to expect. Keep reading to learn more about what happens, how it is both happy and sad, and the proper etiquette for an Irish wake.
Traditional Irish Wakes
In just about everything you’ll read surrounding Irish wakes, you’ll come across the term merrymaking. Families and friends combined merriment with mourning for a unique time of sitting and visiting with the dead and each other. They sing, dance, and celebrate life while mourning death.
What Is An Irish Wake?
An Irish Wake is a time for family and friends to gather and stand vigil over the deceased. In addition, there is time for prayer, singing, wailing, and merriment. The combination of keening sorrow and celebration makes Irish wakes unique.
Keening is the act of wailing in grief over a dead person. It’s a mournful display of sorrow and sadness. It comes from the Gaelic Celtic tradition of vocally lamenting the dead.
While you might think it is only loud wailing, keening consists of words set to musical tones. They usually sing about the deceased: listing genealogy, good qualities, and the sadness of those left behind. Then there are also wailing and sounds without words or meanings. It’s deep anguish that pours from one’s soul.
In addition to keening, family members and friends share stories about the deceased. They tell jokes and share laughter as well as tears. Throughout the night, friends come and go, bringing food and alcohol.
Dancing and merriment remind all who attend that life is precious and should be experienced fully. The party often goes well into the night. However, only close friends and family stay with the body until morning.
Irish Wake Traditions
Some older Irish wake traditions remain in practice today. Whether a family participates in all or part of the traditions depends on their customs. Older traditions include:
- Stopping all the clocks in the house at the time of death.
- Crying didn’t start until after the body was bathed and dressed for fear of attracting evil spirits trying to steal the soul.
- Covering or turning around mirrors so the deceased’s soul can more easily travel to heaven. In addition, mirrors could act as gateways to other worlds.
- Placing candles at the deceased’s head and foot to help them travel through Purgatory.
- Some families also set a pair of shoes near the dead for the journey.
- Hiring professional keeners to wail, cry, and sing.
- Opening a window immediately after someone dies so their spirit can leave.
- Family members refrain from stepping between the window and the deceased.
- The window remains open for two hours. Then it is closed so the spirit cannot return to the body.
- Placing pipes around the room. Visitors puff smoke from them to keep evil spirits at bay.
- Sharing of food and drink while keeping vigil over the dead.
- Storytelling, games, and dancing to celebrate the deceased and life itself.
Families also took photos of the deceased during the wake. Below is an image from 1894 from the wake of a gentleman named Mickie O’Hoolihan.
Modern Irish Wake
While traditional wakes could last for days, modern Irish wakes are shorter. They still commonly take place in the Irish countryside. But traditional multi-day wakes are far less prevalent in modern cities than in previous times.
Funeral homes bathe and dress the deceased nowadays, instead of family members doing the task in their homes. After placing the body in its casket, funeral directors often return the dead home to the “wake house.”
Even in America, families used to gather for overnight wakes for Irish and Scottish emigrants. My father-in-law is a first-generation Scottish-American who recalls hundreds of people attending his mother’s wake in Detroit during the 1960s.
Only about 40 stayed the whole night, but he says the house and yard overflowed with guests throughout the evening. We read the guest book in awe as it listed page after page of attendees.
Origins of Wakes
You may wonder, “why is it called a wake”? No one is positive of the Irish wake’s origin. But some say the time spent with the deceased ensured the person was indeed dead.
Wakes might also have part of their roots in the older Jewish tradition of leaving burial chambers unsealed for three days. Family members would periodically check on the dead during that time, hoping for any signs of life. Then finally, they accepted the death and placed the final tombstone.
Others believe that Irish wakes have pagan roots stemming from the Ancient Celts. The Celts believed in an afterlife, so they saw death as the beginning of your next life cycle. This beginning was the cause for a celebration, so the wake began.
And finally, some say that the origins of wakes stem from all-night prayer vigils. Today, “wake” and “visitation” are often used interchangeably. Both are terms we take to mean viewing the dead and paying respect to the family, usually on the evening before the funeral.
Food & Drink
Food and drink are a large part of Irish wakes. Family and friends gather to process the pain of loss and share in a celebration of life. So Irish wake food and drink fill both the belly and the spirit.
Irish whiskey is the most common alcoholic drink at wakes. But you will likely find a nice pot of tea, also. Neighbors and friends bring plates of sandwiches, biscuits, and cakes to eat throughout the evening.
Irish Wake Toasts
Toasts to celebrate a well-lived life come from the heart, whether or not you use a traditional saying or your own words. Start by speaking about the person and how they impacted your life. Then, ask everyone to raise their glasses, and if you need help knowing what to say, end with one of these options.
- May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
- May you be in heaven a full half-hour before the devil knows you’re dead.
- May joy and peace surround you, and contentment latch your door. And happiness be with you now and bless you evermore.
One of the most familiar Irish blessings is “May the Road Rise up to Meet You.” It makes a fine Irish wake toast.
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Irish Wake Party Ideas
Irish wakes in the US are usually more similar to funeral home visitations than traditional wakes of yesteryear. Unfortunately, many funeral traditions have been replaced by more sterile practices.
However, if you are looking for Irish wake party ideas, include any of the older traditions you’ve read about here. In addition, check out my article about hosting a reception after a funeral for more ideas.
Irish Wake Songs
Music moves us through all our phases of life and expresses our feelings in ways that mere words cannot. Irish wake songs are full of passion and love for life, the dead, and faith.
Danny Boy is the most widely known song for Irish wakes and funerals. It was even played at the funerals of Elvis and Lady Diana. The haunting melody makes it a popular choice.
Another famous Irish wake song is Carrickfergus. This folk song is named after the town in Northern Ireland. And it seems to be the lament of a loved one buried in Scotland. It is sung when the singer is older and looks back on life and memories of love.
A final song for Irish wakes is You Raise Me Up. It was popular in the United States with Josh Groban’s performance, but Rolf Løvland wrote this Norwegian-Irish song. He wrote it for his mother’s funeral, and the music does evoke powerful feelings.
What To Wear To An Irish Wake
The dress code for any funeral event is somber yet classy. Dark clothing is always appropriate, as well as dressing in an understated fashion. Dress modestly out of respect rather than choosing flashy or showy clothing.
Conclusion
I hope this article has given you a good look into the traditions of Irish wakes and what to expect if you attend one. The combination of sorrow and merriment creates an atmosphere of love and respect for the deceased and their family.
Irish wakes are filled with customs that evoke powerful feelings for those attending. However, they don’t hide from grief or any emotions surrounding death. So you can expect to experience sorrow and joy when reflecting on the deceased’s life.
