Post-funeral receptions offer the opportunity to celebrate the life of a loved one who passed away. While funerals are more somber events, receptions are a time for storytelling. Laughter and tears flow while you remember the deceased in a relaxed atmosphere. Read on to learn how to plan a great reception.
The Perfect Post-Funeral Reception
Funeral receptions are often held in the exact location of the service, whether in a funeral home or church. Sometimes they are also held in a family member’s home, restaurant, or community hall. Having the reception nearby makes it easy for guests to transition seamlessly from one event segment to the next.
What Is A Repast or Post Funeral Reception?
Post-funeral receptions are a gathering time after a funeral service to continue sharing memories and stories about the deceased. This gathering supports the family and shows them how much their loved one was treasured.
You’ll hear the terms repast and repass used interchangeably. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary says a repast is a noun meaning “something taken as food: MEAL” or “the act or time of taking food.” So it literally means food for eating.
As a verb, repast means “to take food: FEAST,” which tells me it means to gather together to eat a meal. We usually associate the word feast with holidays. So the image of families and friends gathering to celebrate a holiday feels appropriate for gathering together to honor a loved one.
I love the symbolism of the term, repast. Feasting and celebrating a well-lived life are essential in the grieving process. Since all steps of grieving prove necessary, sad and feasting times both present the opportunity for healing.
How To Plan The Reception After A Funeral
A repast is a casual affair for family and friends. So during your planning, keep that in mind. It’s easy to get carried away with planning while trying to get every detail perfect. So, take a deep breath and relax. The event will go off without a hitch with a bit of time and thought, combined with these funeral reception ideas.
Who Is Invited To A Repast?
Most of the time, funeral receptions are open to everyone who attends the funeral. Sometimes, however, they are private events for a certain number of guests. Private repasts are usually held in a family member’s or friend’s home.
For private receptions, I recommend quietly spreading the word through family members. You might even consider sending invitations. Open funeral repasts are usually mentioned at the end of the service by a funeral director, officiant, or family member. As a funeral director, I often printed program inserts showing the name and location of offsite receptions.
Related: 10+ Wording Ideas for a Celebration of Life Invitation [PDF]
How Much Does A Repast Cost?
Home Setting
A funeral repast can cost as little as $100 when guests bring potluck dishes. The family’s budget covers disposable plates and silverware. You might also provide a coffee and tea service. The most affordable and sometimes the most comfortable reception setting is in your home. This is a great option.
Venue Setting
Catered events have fee structures based on attendee headcount. Expect to spend $13 to $25 per head for a sit-down luncheon’s food cost. In addition, venues charge a rental and staffing fee.
For example, Tumwater Ballroom in Portland, Oregon, offers its beautiful setting for Celebrations of Life. The room costs $1,200 for up to 100 people for a 6-hour event. In addition, a casual buffet menu is $12.95 per person.
On the high end, Tumwater offers a gourmet hors d’oeuvre reception which costs $48 per person. So for 100 people, a catered event in an elegant setting costs from $3,695 to $6,000.
That may seem like a lot of cash, but remember that you simply walk in and enjoy your guests. So, you have very little to worry about beyond a bit of pre-planning with an on-site coordinator. All the details are taken care of, and you can focus on honoring your loved one.
Who Pays For Dinner After The Funeral?
Who pays for dinner after the funeral is something your family decides together. Often the deceased leave instructions for their funeral arrangements. When they also pre-fund the event, it makes the job easier for the family.
Family members of the deceased generally pay for the funeral reception. If your loved one was a regular church member and you held the funeral there, church volunteers often staff receptions. These ladies serve families in need through their gifts of time and food. Of course, you likely need to offer a donation, so check with your pastor or church event coordinator.
When funds are tight, your most affordable option is to invite funeral attendees back to a family member’s home for a potluck. Spread the word beforehand so guests bring plenty of delicious dishes.
What Do You Bring To A Funeral Reception Potluck?
Consider comfort foods if you’re invited to a potluck funeral reception. Casseroles, pies and fried chicken immediately come to my mind. Anything with a lot of carbs is a good choice. Now isn’t the time to worry about calories.
Funeral Sandwiches are one of my favorite dishes to take to funeral receptions (or any potluck). It’s a real thing; ask Google! My go-to recipe comes from Gilled Cheese Social and is named Southern Belle Funeral Sandwiches. I’ve even made these for my daughter and son-in-law after their son was born.
Other good options of food to take to a funeral reception potluck are pies and cakes. Of course, you can never have too much dessert! Opt for dishes that don’t need refrigeration since fridge space will likely be in high demand.
What To Take To A Funeral Repast When You Don’t Cook
Ask the hostess about picking up paper plates, disposable silverware, or plastic cups for those who don’t cook. The cost of these items adds up quickly, so the family will appreciate your thoughtfulness and offer to help out in this manner.
And for those who don’t cook and may not have a lot of extra cash, offer to volunteer to set up, serve, and clean up. This labor of love can not be understated in its value to the family. What a gracious way to honor the deceased by serving their family and friends!
Funeral Reception Ideas
Here are some general funeral receptions ideas if you aren’t sure what to plan.
- Have a display table with photos and collectibles.
- Place a memory jar or tree on another table for guests to record cherished memories of your loved one.
- Have a background music playlist of the deceased’s favorite songs.
- Name one person to be the “host” and announce a thank you to guests for coming.
Do You Have To Have A Reception After A Funeral?
No, you don’t have to have a reception after a funeral. Likewise, there is no rule stating receptions must follow funerals. However, attendees have taken time off from work, purchased new clothes, and given their time to honor your loved ones. So, proper etiquette prompts you to offer a thank you.
Cookies and coffee in a reception hall at the funeral are completely acceptable solutions. It doesn’t need to be a fancy or long-drawn-out affair. For example, a selection of Costco cookies on nice trays with doilies looks elegant. And it is enough to thank guests for attending.
Another good reason for the reception is to offer an informal opportunity for guests to speak with the deceased’s family members. When someone attends a funeral, they have a special memory of the dead. And they often enjoy sharing those stories.
Receptions after funerals provide time for guests and families to share stories, tell jokes, and give hugs. But, most importantly, a repast offers an opportunity to share the burden of grief. The week or two leading up to the funeral are hectic and often occur in a fog. After that, the funeral is sad. So the repass reception is a time for family and friends to relax.
The funeral naturally focuses on your deceased loved one, whereas the reception focuses on the living. Yet, it is often an essential part of the day. So while you don’t technically have to have a reception after a funeral, you definitely should!
Conclusion
A funeral repass or reception offers an informal opportunity for the deceased’s friends and family members to gather. The casual setting lets guests relax while sharing stories and memories of their loved ones.
- Support the deceased’s family.
- Offer comfort through shared memories and stories.
- Share food together in celebration of the deceased.
- Guests offer personal condolences in a relaxed setting.
- It brings closure to the funeral process.
After the funeral or memorial service, a reception helps the deceased’s family and friends find closure. Knowing that you are not alone in mourning helps to move through grief’s stages. And the repast gives everyone time to gather together instead of simply getting into individual cars and driving away.
