When someone dies, there are many ways to honor them. A memorial service, funeral, and celebration of life all pay respect to your loved one. All three create a gathering of friends and family who cared for the deceased. So which type of service should your family choose?
Memorial Service vs Funeral vs Celebration Of Life
The body of the deceased is present at the funeral. However, the casket may be open or closed. Memorial services honor your loved one, without the body’s presence. A cremation urn is often there instead. And a celebration of life may not include the body or urn. Instead, mourners gather to celebrate their loved ones in a personalized manner.
Difference Between Funeral And Memorial Services
The biggest difference between a funeral and a memorial service is the presence of the body. It is always present at funerals, but not at memorials.
Traditional funerals are also generally more formal than memorial services. The presence of the deceased’s body and casket may lend a more somber air than only having the cremation urn at the service.
Often religious in nature, funerals may be officiated by clergy members or priests. And they may be held in places of worship. The casket is open or closed depending on the family’s wishes, but it is present at the funeral either way.
Funerals often end with a procession to the cemetery and a short grave-side committal.
Memorial services, on the other hand, usually have a cremation urn present instead of a casket. However, sometimes a photograph of the deceased stands at the front of the room in place of either an urn or casket.
Where funerals are more a time for quiet observation of the proceedings, memorials allow for attendee interaction. Mourners often speak at memorial services, sharing fond memories of the deceased.
Both services honor your loved one. And both contain beautiful tributes.
How Long Is A Memorial Service Compared To A Funeral?
There isn’t much difference between the time of a memorial service or that of a funeral service. Both generally run 45 minutes to an hour.
The time difference comes for those who choose to proceed to the cemetery after a funeral. Depending on driving time, the procession, and graveside committal service can add another hour or more.
Furthermore, families often offer a time of fellowship and refreshments to attendees. This relaxed time provides a chance for the family to mingle with mourners, join conversations, and thank attendees for coming.
What Happens At A Memorial Service?
Similar to a funeral, a pastor, celebrant, or master of ceremonies leads the service. While the order and components may differ, the same types of information are shared at memorial services.
- The officiant gives a short welcome and thanks those in attendance.
- The officiant says a few words about the deceased, usually the basic life details. Sometimes family members are pointed out. And the family has often shared one or two stories about their loved one for the officiant to tell.
- A video plays, featuring photographs from the decedent’s life.
- Favorite songs are played or sung.
- Attendees are encouraged to stand and say a sentence or two about the deceased.
- The officiant ties together components and again thanks attendees for coming.
- An announcement is made regarding refreshments in another room. Or perhaps the family is hosting an open house at one of their homes. Or mourners might be welcomed to join the family at a favorite restaurant or pub.
What Is The Meaning Of Memorial Service?
The meaning of a memorial service is the same as that of funerals and celebrations of life. They provide a time for mourners to gather to honor the departed. Not only does the time together pay respect to the dead, but it also aids in the grieving process.
A formal farewell tells our hearts what our heads already know, that our loved one is not coming back.
Memorial services give families and friends a chance to gather without the pressure of time. Holding a ceremony after the burial or cremation is complete means that families can plan a service that better fits their schedules.
How Long After Death Is The Memorial?
A memorial can be within a week of death or it can be held a month later. There isn’t a specific time frame. However, I believe that holding a memorial closer to a loved one’s death is better for the mourners than waiting a long time.
Allowing family members from afar time to fly home for a memorial service can save them money. They can plan time off from work and can purchase cheaper flight tickets.
Yet waiting too long to hold a memorial service can make the grieving process harder. When a death occurs, we often try to bargain our way out of it. We hope that there has been a huge mistake and that our loved one is still with us.
Attending a funeral or memorial service helps us say goodbye to the departed. So don’t wait too long to plan it.
Can You Have A Celebration Of Life Instead Of A Funeral?
Yes, you can have a celebration of life instead of a funeral. Like a memorial, the body of the deceased will not be present. So you have the luxury of time for planning.
Celebrations of life are joyous occasions where family and friends come together to honor a life well lived. They are usually less formal than funerals and memorials, but they can still be held in the funeral home.
In addition to helping us say farewell, celebrations of life give us a time to revel in the beauty and love of the deceased. These celebrations can be backyard BBQs or potluck lunches at a park.
Celebrations may include meeting at a favorite waterfall or other special location to spread the ashes of the deceased. The options are as limitless as the personality of the person you are celebrating.
Steps To Prepare For A Funeral, Memorial Service, Or Celebration Of Life
Your funeral director will take care of most details for a funeral or memorial service. The family is involved, but the heavy load of planning is done for you.
Hosting a celebration of life may take a bit more work on the part of the family though, especially if it is held away from the funeral home, like at a community hall. However, the steps are essentially the same.
- Choose a time and location. This may not be entirely up to you if the funeral home or church already has another commitment. But the funeral director will work with you to coordinate the best possible time.
- Select an officiant. Again, the funeral director is a great resource for suggesting local chaplains, if you don’t already have someone in mind.
- Decide on audio and visual displays.
- What songs will be sung or played?
- Select pictures for displaying.
- Select pictures for a video during the service.
- Will you display mementos of the deceased? A collection or hobby?
- Choose speakers beyond the officiant.
- Does a grandchild want to read a special poem?
- Does a dear friend have a special memory to share?
- Notify friends and family
- Death announcement or obituary in the newspaper
- Invitations for a celebration of life
How Do You Dress For A Funeral, Memorial, Or Celebration Of Life?
Dressing for a funeral will likely include the most formal clothing of these three types of services. When the body of the deceased is present, dressing respectfully in darker clothing is always your best option. It shows respect for the departed as well as a proper sense of solidarity in mourning with the family.
Read this article to better understand why we wear black to funerals.
Choosing clothes for a memorial service depends on the level of formality desired by the family. Usually, when there are specific requests, they will be noted in the obituary. Something like, “please wear pink in honor of Grandma’s breast cancer battle” lets attendees know the family’s wishes.
Call a family member or the funeral home, if you’re not certain about the desired dress code.
Celebrations of life usually are less formal affairs, so more relaxed clothing is preferred. You can never go wrong by following a few simple guidelines though.
- No bare shoulders or low-cut blouses
- Limit bright colors, unless they are specifically requested
- No shorts or ripped jeans
- Closed-toe, clean shoes are best
Of course, the type of celebration and location will guide you in knowing the best outfit for the occasion.
Conclusion
Funerals, memorial services, and celebrations of life all give us a chance to pay our respects to the deceased. Our attendance to honor their lives shows the family our love and support. Whether the event is formal or tie-dye shirts are requested, the ceremonies associated with a formal goodbye help us in the grieving process.
We are better able to let go of the departed when we gather in their honor. Sharing our grief while celebrating a life is a beautiful memorial in itself.
